How to deal with desire for second chance from ex
How to deal with the desire for a second chance now that your ex has become more attractive, handsome, financially secure, mature, or interesting.
It’s been a few months, if not years, since you split up, and it appears they’re having the time of their lives. Single life looks good on them, while your heartache worsens.
This is especially true if you started the divorce. Regret begins to creep in, and you wonder if you made the wrong decision and are the cause of your misery.
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You might even be tempted to contact them just to end the interrogation. You may believe that now is a good time to try to get back together in these ‘new’ and ‘improved’ ways.
You are not by yourself. Here are five pointers to help you get started.
He or she has genuinely progressed
Stop wondering if they’re putting on a show of having fun and doing better in order to catch your attention. That is simply their way of coping with their heartbreak. On the other hand, the truth may be that the breakup did not affect them in the same way that it did you. Work on healing yourself without them.
The breakup served as motivation.
The breakup served as a wake-up call to make changes. Some people simply use painful experiences to improve themselves. This can include getting in better shape at the gym, taking better care of themselves, and becoming more serious about life.
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It has nothing to do with you; the breakup compelled them to change.
How have you evolved?
If you want them back because they’ve improved, in what ways have they improved? It is not a competition, but if you are sad and need to return to feel better, you have lost. Even if you reconcile, there will be noticeable differences that you will find difficult to adjust to if you’re insecure.
What does it say about you?
Obsessing over a “improved” ex will not bring you peace. For starters, it demonstrates that you are superficial, and thus that the reasons for the breakup were also superficial.
Even if real issues were the cause, you ignore your emotions in order to return to the place where they were hurt.
Be glad for them. Try to find your inner peace.
If you rekindle your relationship
What if he or she reverts to the old version of themselves once you’ve returned? So, what happens next? This time will be even worse than the first. They have not changed in tangible ways that you can notice. Don’t imagine anything else because it only appears that way from the outside.
Before you split up
Did you say anything before the breakup? Did you communicate clearly? Did you speak up about any issues before the relationship fell apart? Take charge of your health and healing. You obviously can’t change the person, and they appear to have changed for the better. Good luck to them, and better luck the next time.
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Takeaway
Everyone reacts differently to breakups and failed relationships. If you did not work on repairing the relationship, new circumstances are unlikely to resolve the issues. Instead of competing with others, strive to be better for yourself.