Unlocking Intimacy: The Untold Truths of Sex Beyond 40
Regardless of gender, everyone possesses both feminine and masculine energies that they manifest in various situations, depending on the circumstances. Displaying inappropriate energy at a given moment can negatively impact your sexuality.
As I conversed with Janet, a 50-year-old administrator from a public university, thoughts raced through my mind. She, along with her husband Joseph, had visited the Sexology Clinic due to the absence of intimacy in their relationship.
“I sometimes feel like holding this man and having sex but there is just a repelling force between us that does not let it happen,” she explained.
I observed Joseph’s behavior as soon as he entered the clinic. He resembled the way young boys, brought in by their mothers to the children’s clinic, typically act.
He was not very talkative, and whenever prompted to verify something, he readily acquiesced, repeatedly nodding and affirming with a demeanor that suggested he was facing a challenging situation.
“At age 40, we had sex at least once a week. Right now we are struggling to do it once in three months,” Janet lamented. “And Joseph never makes a try. He is like a zombie, always waiting to be pushed around.” Andrew looked down in shame. He did not utter a word.
The power dynamics within this relationship were clear. Janet, a formidable administrator both in her professional life and at home, exemplified a common phenomenon observed in many relationships as women age, particularly after reaching 40. It involves a transfer of masculine energy from the man to the woman, who assumes control, often with valid intentions, to guide the family toward success.
During the early stages of your life as a woman, there were certain feminine actions you engaged in that fostered emotional connections with a man.
Expressing masculine energy for the success of your family can make those things appear foolish over time.
During that period, the man was the most significant aspect of your life. You took pleasure in attending to his needs, seeking his advice, requesting him to indulge you on weekends, pick you up from work, cover your salon expenses, and more.
You found delight in teasing him, engaging in playful banter and jokes. Being together was enjoyable. It wasn’t that you were incapable of taking care of yourself; rather, there was a comforting feeling in leaning on someone’s shoulder and experiencing care and support.
During those days with the man, your feminine essence was evident, contrasting with your behavior around colleagues in the workplace.
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You remained the competent individual responsible for making challenging choices, directing others, and administering consequences to those who defied your authority. Your presence in the workplace was characterized by a display of assertive and authoritative qualities typically associated with masculine energy.
The essence of masculine energy is characterized by qualities such as leadership, logical thinking, clear communication, and decisive action. It involves a proactive approach to taking control, leading, and addressing individuals who engage in manipulation or frivolous behavior, often resorting to corrective measures.
As women grow older, they begin to notice shortcomings in the man’s role as the leader of the family, leading them to situations where they must assume a leadership role within the family.
They could take on the role of decision-makers within the family, employing logic and clarity in their choices. Their inclination might be to implement the principles and strategies that have proven effective in their professional environment to ensure the success of their families.
To achieve success in intimacy and sexual dynamics, both men and women need to reconsider the way they express their respective energies. Conflict often arises in relationships when masculine energy clashes with itself.
When individuals of both genders employ identical energy dynamics, conflicts arise. Additionally, if a woman is compelled to embody masculine energy due to the man adopting feminine qualities, it leads to her feeling frustrated.
In a marriage following a patrilineal structure, there are certain societal expectations placed on the man, and meeting these expectations is crucial for maintaining harmony in the relationship.
“So, what you mean is that a male should be a male and a female should be a female in the relationship and endeavor to play their roles appropriately?” Janet said absent-mindedly, her gaze fixed on the horizon.
Understanding these concepts can be challenging for those who believe in equal power dynamics within relationships. Typically, there is a misconception that demonstrating feminine energy is synonymous with weakness.
It’s understandable why women have been labeled as the weaker gender. The strength inherent in feminine energy has the potential to bring about positive transformations on a national scale. Women shouldn’t be ashamed to embrace their femininity as a means of connecting with the more tender aspects of life, such as happiness, pleasure, and joy.
Certainly, men need to acquire the ability to exhibit supportive masculine conduct for genuine familial happiness to be achieved.
“And so, how does all this tie with my question about sex?” Janet asked looking confused.
Fulfilling intimacy occurs when souls connect, and the blending of feminine and masculine energies results in the union of two hearts.
The inclination to relinquish one’s identity and liberate oneself for enjoyment and gratification arises.
This is the moment when the enigma of affection becomes apparent. It’s the emotion people express when deeply in love, ultimately resulting in fulfilling intimacy.
Unlocking Intimacy: The Untold Truths of Sex Beyond 40