Love Renewed: Ukraine’s Veterans Embrace Intimacy
In a modern office in the heart of Kyiv, a 26-year-old Ukrainian veteran proudly plays a video of him ardently kissing a young woman in the kitchen on his mobile phone.
It is an advertisement for ReSex, a charity that assists former servicemen with their sex lives following physical and psychological trauma.
In March of last year, invading Russian forces laid a ruthless siege on the Ukrainian port city of Mariupol, reducing a large portion of it to rubble. Hlib Stryzhko, a marine at the time, was among the city’s defenders.
A Russian explosion brought him to the earth from the third floor of a building. He was then squashed by debris.
In addition to suffering a severe concussion, Hlib’s pelvis, jaw, and nose were fractured, and he claims that the heat of the explosion melted his tactical goggles onto his face. The Russians then captured him and made him a prisoner of war.
The subsequent month, Hlib was liberated and returned to Ukrainian soil as part of a prisoner swap. However, he claims he received little medical care while in captivity.
The BBC first spoke with Hlib shortly after his release, and later located him in a hospital in the western Ukrainian city of Lviv.
While Hlib was engaged in his rehabilitation, ReSex approached him.
“After sustaining a pelvic injury, I had complications that required time to recover. And [sexuality] wasn’t discussed much, so I wouldn’t want that to happen to others like me,” he says.
This motivated me to participate in the endeavor.
Ivona Kostyna is a co-founder of Veteran Hub, the organization that manages the ReSex initiative.
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She claims that they first conceived of the initiative in 2018, after reading about the issue facing American soldiers.
After securing funding at the beginning of Russia’s full-scale invasion, they consulted with Ukrainian soldiers and experts to ensure that their assistance is tailored to the men who require it.
When they first inquired about online responses to questions, they encountered some confusion from the general public and veterans. “People are dying, and you’re thinking about sex!” Ivona claims.
They also had to confront some of their own misconceptions, such as the erroneous belief that all injured veterans struggled with their sexual affairs.
“There is sex in the hospital, sex at home, sex before and after procedures, and sex between patients. “There is a lot of good sex going on,” says Ivona. “We were like, wow, OK, how can we be helpful here?”
She reports that the response has been exceedingly positive, however.
The charity has printed approximately 6,000 booklets, distributed them to medical facilities, veterans, and their families throughout Ukraine, and made them accessible online.
Additionally, ReSex has launched a social media campaign that includes videos, visuals, and a helpline. The organization provides information on masturbation, sex toys, and even fundamental biology.
“We try to cover everything,” Ivona says, adding that the pamphlet includes a section for young, injured veterans who may be virgins.
Therefore, intercourse after their wound would be their first sex experience ever, which is quite different from what they may have anticipated.
ReSex’s project manager, Kateryna Skorokhod, explains that they have published distinct guides for men and women to ensure that each partner receives specific advice tailored to their experiences and bodies.
She emphasizes, however, that the project’s emphasis is more on the emotional than the physical.
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“It’s about how you can accept yourself, love yourself, and build a relationship with yourself and your partner after these injuries – with sex and intimacy in relationships.”
There are voids in their research because they rely on veterans to respond to their questionnaire, she says, adding that they have struggled to receive responses from the LGBTQ community.
But they have also learned a tremendous deal about the veterans of Ukraine. Specifically, they discovered that traumatic brain injuries are frequently misdiagnosed and undertreated in the country, affecting “the libido and the entire sexual performance,” according to the researcher.
Ivona states that the language used to discuss sexuality is also significant.
“It is in no way a grandiose language. It is not at all about ‘overcoming obstacles’ – that may be useful for sports, but it turns out that sex is not on the same level.”
She asserts that it is essential to inform veterans that they are not required to engage in sexual activity and that it may be difficult or agonizing at first.
Hlib speaks extremely favorably about the initiative he has joined. He chuckles when asked if he’s had a girlfriend since his injuries.
“After I returned from captivity and the hospital, I had a fiancée, and while I was completing the project questionnaire, I had another. “I now have a partner,” he declares. “I might have missed one.”
However, he expressed gratitude for everyone he had dated over the past year.
“Every companion I had was essential to restoring my confidence. I am very appreciative of that.”
Love Renewed: Ukraine’s Veterans Embrace Intimacy
