Mantalk: As a woman worries about the biological clock, the man’s financial clock is ticking
Is that all? Has this year passed already? We’re done with 2024 already? I’m eagerly anticipating 2025! Setting aside the shock of how fast time flies, the issue with the new year beginning is that it serves as a reminder that time is slipping away, contrary to what the “positivity influencers” might claim.
I appreciate it even more because “rizz” was named the word of the year for 2023 by the Oxford Dictionary. This term signifies “sexual allure” or “charm” and originates from charisma. However, it doesn’t seem charismatic at all for a man in his forties to use the word ‘rizz’ in a sentence. Am I being unreasonable?
In the words of Proximo from The Gladiator, people are ultimately defined by their fleeting existence, akin to shadows and dust. Our actions in life leave an enduring mark on our legacy, so it’s crucial to make them meaningful. Lately, I’ve contemplated this notion because just as time passes, our aspirations gradually diminish.
Eventually, you awaken to the realization that perhaps becoming a billionaire might not be achievable, that Halle Berry won’t respond to your Instagram message and gift you a luxury car, and that the discomfort in your joints isn’t due to excessive exercise but rather an early onset of arthritis.
Anger undoubtedly exists, just beneath the surface of reason and kindness. It’s a comprehensible emotion. The inquisitive and innocent boy you used to be is transforming, shedding his skin to expose a hardened individual, worn down by life’s hardships, akin to a desolate city in ruins.
You desired fame, wealth, love, and victory. You aspired to achieve everything, which both built and shattered you in the process.
I’ve been exploring a hypothesis regarding the contrasting time considerations between men and women. While women follow a biological timeline, in my observation, men tend to follow a financial timeline. As I can’t speak from personal experience as a woman, I’ll discuss the viewpoint typically associated with men. Essentially, men prioritize having their financial situation settled before making commitments. At times, there’s a sense of urgency where time is limited, and the financial aspect isn’t yet satisfactory.
As women perceive potential in relationships, men perceive the weight of obligation. This obligation translates into financial responsibilities, symbolized by bills. The pressure of financial stability looms, causing concern for the man about his ability to provide for both his partner and himself. Questions about sustaining a home, livelihood, and future together linger persistently in his mind, accompanied by the ticking of a metaphorical clock, highlighting the urgency of these considerations.
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And that’s when aspirations begin to fade. It’s the moment when a person must sacrifice everything to earn a living. I don’t necessarily endorse the actions of some individuals in Kilimani who resort to buying soap and visiting cleaners for a thorough wash, but I comprehend their choices. Let it never be claimed that a man isn’t merely seen as a means of achieving success because that’s essentially his identity.
As a heavily internet-connected millennial, this implies that I have the opportunity to livestream individuals’ experiences. Despite the pushback against positivity influencers, I firmly believe it’s impractical and unwise to ignore reality or adopt a blindly optimistic approach.
I challenge the idea of taking a different approach by suggesting a pill that encourages comparing oneself to friends rather than feigning generosity. This comparison is essential to gauge personal progress accurately. Declaring oneself as a ‘success’ doesn’t align with the reality of life or success itself. From my perspective, I am the one who holds the correct stance in this argument.
I’ve been having discussions with a person’s daughter regarding the topic of death—specifically, what the experience might be like and whether I’d choose to know the timing or the circumstances. Personally, it’s simple for me: I’d opt to know the specifics, the “how,” in hopes that I could potentially make some alterations, given that I have a few notions in mind.
I believe that knowing when my time will end would make me feel compelled to hurriedly experience everything within that limited timeframe. This urgency stems from the awareness that the Grim Reaper awaits, causing me to rush through life. Conversely, there’s a certain allure in the unpredictability of life. Knowledge, in this case, isn’t a blessing but rather a burden. However, because we’re aware of the inevitability of death, I’d rather know how it will occur than when.
I’d like to head out wearing white underwear, ideally prepared with some grilled meat (nyama choma) and beer. It seems heaven offers only milk and honey, which doesn’t seem inclusive for those of us who are unable to tolerate lactose.
I’m bringing this up because I think most men are more interested in learning how to achieve success rather than just knowing when it will happen. They seek reassurance that their hard work matters, that the competition hasn’t been futile, and that the aspirations they had in their younger days aren’t turning into regretful experiences as they grow older. It’s curious, isn’t it? How the desires of the past can eventually become haunting thoughts in the present.
According to the elders, when a person faces their mortality, they seek assurance that their life holds meaning. They suggest that things rarely turn out as expected, and life involves dealing with situations that don’t match their advertised promise. Embracing this truth sooner allows one to find peace and even flourish despite these challenges, perhaps even drawing strength from them in a somewhat poetic manner.
May the coming year bring blessings to all who step into the arena, benefiting their families, friends, and themselves. May whichever higher power you believe in support you, and may your efforts yield fruitful results from the land.
And most importantly, may time always work in your favor. As we express on this platform: Allow the desperate young man to venture out and pursue. If he triumphs over the elephant, his poverty will cease. If the elephant overpowers him, his poverty will still cease. Wishing blessings upon you in 2024, dear brothers and sisters.
Mantalk: As a woman worries about the biological clock, the man’s financial clock is ticking
